Archive for December, 2008

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 2:04 am

Comments: 477

Prateeksha, Mumbai                  December 30/31, 2008                1:32 am

The day has ended,

In bed

As I said.

Time for the connection,

With limited instruction,

Destruction.

A day gone by,

Without a tie,

Such a lie.

Lunching with foursome,

Neglecting the tum,

Awesome.

Partial West Wing, part GODF 3,

Old and played out I agree,

Nothing free.

Lounging in the morning sun,

SHANUK on the run,

Fun.

Travel plans for coming year,

Inconsistent I fear,

O! dear.

Paucity of writing skill,

Driving me up the hill,

What a drill !

Switch to poetry, prose destroyed,

Overjoyed,

And buoyed.

Languid posture within sheet,

Absence of discreet,

A treat.

Hours of sleep just flying past,

Health won’t last,

Many aghast.

Two o o eight,

Another date,

Now sedate.

O nine will whine,

And dine not shine,

Fine.

N’er give up hope,

There is scope,

You dope !

Look for the best,

Define and test,

A jest ?

Command, assert,

Never divert,

Or else inert.

And inert shall we all be , when effort and passion and commitment to excel shall abate. Just when all is lost and dark an opportunity shall arise, a will shall prevail. The joy in overcoming that episode of life, that moment of uncertainty shall imbed itself. It shall come uncalled, without notice. It shall impress upon you strive and deliver. And when we shall succumb to the trial and emerge victorious, then shall we look back in anger and say why were we so despondent earlier on in the first place.

Easier said than done. Those that shall be privileged to suffer shall cherish the experience. That’s what suffering does. But if it is ordained that recognition and success shall come, but not without hard struggle and pain, then welcome it with golden arms; wide, warm and enveloping.

My arms are spread to imbibe and envelop.. Even as I lie..

Give me my due, dear Lord, in accordance with the pain of suffering. Else do not allow me to suffer !!



Posted on: December 30, 2009 - 12:35 am

Comments: 345

Prateeksha, Mumbai                     December 29, 2008            11:12 pm

 

 

The house is complete now and full ! Abhishek and Aishwarya came back by the afternoon !

There is something about completeness in a family. The house begins to smell right, the furniture the lights the food everything about it suddenly comes to life. Such an endearing moment. This long interval and gap has detached all of us. Now together, there is the urge to spill out all that we wanted to say to hear to inform. WEST WING can wait.

And so it was. The staff gets all efficient and concerned with the chores. The dog, Shanuk doesn’t tire from shaking his tail. Indeed he volunteers to come out on the lawn with us, even though it isn’t his time to, and even though his little and now apprehensive friend, the cat, sulkingly beckons him to pay more attention to her instead.

The morning has been filled with responsible and exciting concept meetings with the people that manage and run the blog. The first hour has been devoted to all the millions of complaints that came across to me on the difficulties respondents faced and continue to face. They are minor glitches and shall  not assume major encumbrances in our contact and our functioning. All is well. The earth rotates. The sun moves from East to West. Traffic actually moves. And motorists still believe that the green traffic light is an indication to GO ! Its a beautiful world. Idiotes at times, but beautiful ! And don’t try to spell correct me on ‘idiotes’, its from Greek; an ignorant person.

But.. there are some developments in the process which would make our lives so worth the effort of living. Innovations that I am unable to talk about, but  most decidedly one that would bring us even closer. And perhaps some, further away from us. A blessing !!

Osian the publishing giant, or one that will become one in time is now ready for the launch of a unique book ‘Bachchanalia’ containing all the publicity posters of all my films from the day I started, decorated quite imaginatively with little snippets that talk of my experience with each film. Neville Tuli, in charge, presents the second copy to me for personal use after giving the first to his Mother. It is well put together and Bhawana Somaaya who came about with the idea and the writting seemed pleased with the final out come; she having done one previously too with a modicum of success.

Some one at least, that considers recording or documenting film memorabilia, albeit of some stupid actor synonymed BIG B, for posterity and the generation to come. There is such an aversion to put down record , to wanting to keep events details discussions comments and analysis on our cinema, that years to come when we shall want to look back we shall be staring at a blank page. A pity and a sad commentary, not just to our craft, whatever it is worth, but to a temperament that has from its very early years looked upon this creative art as infra dig and below standard and value.

An entity, millions identify with, just not given its due place.

So.. prior to the launch there is promotion. And there are photographs and interviews with print media. Talk about the book. Talk how you feel. Will you, who write continuously ad nauseam on blog ever write biography. You do talk of your experiences and thoughts, why not the bio then. Hell ! there is nothing biographical in my life and I hate the word ‘I’. I was born here, I did this, I thought this, I thought that… aggrandizing !! But you do it all the time on your blog do you not. Ya ! I do on occasion. But.. I’m not selling it, lady. Just having a chat with my loves and lovers. Do you mind !! 

So on with the jacket and jeans not worn in a decade. On with that hint of make up. On with some fresh hair and fresh glasses. On with the smile, sitting, standing, hands on hip, hands in pocket, hand- shaking, good bye thank you…

Neville, with special speech and flowing hair. Speech that never completes the ‘ing’ in word that are fortunate to possess it - changing to changin’, coming to comin’, wanting to wantin’…( Why ?? ) Is now settled and happy with the result of this photo meet and shall be lookin’ forward to seein’ me at the Tata Auditorium on the 3rd of January 2009 for launch, yes launch, not lunch; that when you eat. Launch !! Got it !! Javed Akhtar to say words, Aamir Khan to cut ribbons, Yash Chopra to release book, Bhawana and Neville to field hostile questions from assembled. No just kidding !! To face the music. No ! Sorry, thats not sounding wise either. To have staid sombre discussion on the making of this ode to ‘wine and revelry’ - the book, the book. Remember ?? ‘Bachchanalia’. Yaaah !! Clever no ? And bring the evening to an end. Oh ! Forgot most important venture. Wife’s agreed to come !!

Wife, that has during this long absence, draped fresh curtains, upholstered new and colorful cushions, sofas and bed spreads. Elegant, aesthetic and so considerate ! Gratitude !! I am covered in one now as I try to make written conversation with you. Yes.. the bed spread, yes.. yes. I, cannot be covered in gratitude, stupid. Oh.. ok .. you mean cover her with gratitude.. yes.. thats fine, thats plausible, yes.. thank you. I think she might enjoy that !!

 

Dear me.. its past 12:39. we are on 30 now ! 30th December !

Harumprrpphhh ! Just so unable to get you to be on the same plane as me.

Plane ??

Never mind !! Good night !

 

Loveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou…………….

 



Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 12:41 am

Comments: 283

Prateeksha, Mumbai                      December 28/29,  2008                 12:05 am

 

No pressures of reporting for work. No call sheets and eager AD’s waiting to give you your scene, your costume and your properties. No devoted make up from Deepak of over 30 years standing. No familiar sounds of set. No lights, no camera and no dialogues to learn. The freedom to be able to guide the day yourself is suddenly back.

And there is loathe. Life for 40 years has been one of guidance from others. Their ideas, their characters, their impressions of my expected speech, their movements to song and dance and drama. And then.. on to the next !

But the very loathe, detestation, aversion and repugnance now falling heavy upon us. Customized as we are to being led, left to ourselves we find it difficult to lead. There is a desperate search of being able to attend to many chores and pending work during the moment of these seemingly non working days. But beyond a desire to look involved and busy, it has generally failed. Indeed, it is often observed that you tend to tackle different chores when you are busy. Strange !! But revealingly true.

So in the frustration of not being able to decide on a decision, you return to the oft played. Oft visited. Oft treasured… WEST WING  !!

Two moments move me.

He giveth and He taketh away. HE gives us life and learning. Growth and sense. A mind of judgement and opinion. A desire and a will. And when HE wishes HE can take away everything.

Must there be remorse then for that which we may have received to now be taken away. It is HE that delivered and HE that revoked. We have praised and accepted HIM and glorified HIM. Our faith resides there. It is not our wont to question. Unless atheism propounds.. But for that another day and another discourse…

The second.

‘We have lived and died with the success and failures of our parents.’ Those that have privileged the presence of fame and recognition, of celebrity and status, of public figure hood and following, must decidedly have subscribed to having lived through the life graph of successes and failures of those that gave us parentage. Their vulnerability became ours too. Their adulation our achievement.

Did we who fell into hallowed category, push those of our progeny into undesired circumstances not of our calling. Did they dwell and flourish in the exuberance of our achievements, without contribution ?? Who then among us is guilty. We for subjecting them or they for rejecting us ?

Give me opinion, reaction with reason. Let us debate  this too, over time. It has been a subject that has intrigued me often and for long. I gave it room for thought in a film I designed along with RGV, ‘Sarkaar’. But it is of importance even beyond film. And I encourage those among you who relish discussion and friendly argument to bring forth the mind… perhaps to reach conclusion, or revelation..

 

 

My love,